I am what I am but here is the reflection of what I am: I often feel I am everywhere or nothing, here nor there, leading yet not commanding, focused but distracted, the minds AI, is now on-line and precisely aligned. Warmed in darkness, frozen in light, gazing so intently, as a flaming shadow in a dark lit night. Always following but never remembering, things I said or words I read, gain some knowledge then forgot the rest my mind is found at rest. Going forth but hiding all around the words I write, words that make a sound like the waveform that forms as a waterfall crash into a still pond. This is the storm I hear that is always around. Running in concentric pattern, bathing in time, all my memories become wound around. I have a continuously fear of being set back farther because I keep trying but I keep getting shoved down. Like pictures seen in fog, the details blend together and still make a song, that sounds like vuvuzela concerto ten octaves too high. Almost always this is how I see clearly but always within that noisy fog. When I am touched, a fiery rage burns up inside me gleaming and burning from the over-sensation of being touched. I know it should not anger me but it always happens and it's not anything I can just make stop. Therefore; to be loved, to be held, or to hold is torture for me. Some days life feels like a curse, the daylight all locked inside. Yet I smile like a doll, a think of pure acting simply forced on me by myself so the world cannot hear me scream. Other days when it is too much to bare my mind becomes lost and all I can do is stare at the wholeness of the screaming locked inside. It's not curse it is who I am, in the darkness I simply dwell silently screaming so the world can pretend it is still smiling. Others fear how I think because I tell them I cannot get my shoe out of my foot or because I stumble across a word describing the word in both detail and definition yet never actually coming up with the word. Often lost to me are these words and names but what repeats over and over in my mind why another person needs a word or name if a detailed definition is given. This defines and reflects what I see, what I hear, and how I observe the life I live. - Gregory David Allen (AKA: The Flamesofphx)